EchoVibe

Woman's Reason for Refusing To Visit Husband's Sister Backed: 'Unfair'

A woman has been backed online for refusing to visit her sister-in-law because she has a demanding work schedule.

The sister-in-law had shared on Reddit that her brother's wife, who is a resident physician and works 60 to 80 hours per week, rarely visits her and her family.

"Her residency is a seven-hour drive from where me, my husband and my baby girl live," the woman opened up.

"My brother and I were always very close growing up and even lived in the same apartment and later same city. We were never more than 20 minutes away from each other. I got married and had my baby and he moved seven hours away to be with his fiancée, now wife, pretty soon after I had my baby. It was devastating for me as I had always pictured us being close and him really involved as an uncle," she continued.

The woman went on to share in the now-viral post that while her sister-in-law does work grueling hours, she has something called a "golden weekend," a rare occasion where she has both Saturday and Sunday off.

"During those one-weekend-a-month that she has completely off, her and my brother either stay at home because she needs to relax or will drive two hours to see her family," the woman wrote, before going on to detail how her sister-in-law hasn't made the effort to visit her and her husband.

"During the three weeks of vacation, which she is only able to take one week at a time, they went on a one-week-long trip to Hawaii, a one-week-long trip to Cancun with her family and then had one week where they just visited her family two hours away. They haven't made the trip to visit us more than one or two times year as they say the drive is too hard with the limited time off she has," the woman added.

The woman revealed that she feels hurt by the fact that her sister-in-law can seemingly visit faraway locations in Hawaii and Mexico, yet can't make a two-hour drive to visit her and her family.

"They always ask my parents and us to visit them during the holidays she works so at least we can be together and she will join everyday after [5:00 p.m.], but it's hard for us to travel with a toddler. My parents have to split time visiting there and visiting us and we need them for childcare," she explained.

Feeling fed up by the one-sided and "unfair" situation, the woman decided to ask her brother and sister-in-law to visit them more often and to share the travel obligations so that they can make time for each other more fairly.

The woman recalled how the conversation went in her post: "When I asked him to visit alone, he said she needs him because the heavy workload has been really mentally straining on her and quoted how resident physicians have a really high depression rate and basically called me the a******."

Licensed counselor Chikeitha Owens told Newsweek how the long-distance relatives could try and make more time for each other.

"Try getting with everyone and analyzing their schedule to see if any of the coming and going could be something that could be done together," she suggested. "Then, attempt to schedule at least one family event on the calendar. Showing support for each other is important as well."

The woman went on to share that she has since fallen out with her brother and sister-in-law.

Since it was shared to the social media platform by @Historical-Nose-250 a month ago, the Reddit post has been commented on by over 5,000 users, the majority of which have slammed the woman for expecting her brother and sister-in-law to travel such long journeys on her rare days off.

"You don't have to travel to them if it's too hard for you, but you come across as really judgmental and lacking in compassion for how they choose to spend their limited free time," one user wrote. "Asking them to travel seven hours each way for a visit on the rare Saturday she has off is unreasonable, that would be 14 hours of driving for probably not even 24 hours of time together including sleep hours. You say they do make the trip about twice a year, and that seems reasonable given these circumstances."

"Sister-in-law dodged a bullet," another Redditor commented.

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

");jQuery(this).remove()}) jQuery('.start-slider').owlCarousel({loop:!1,margin:10,nav:!0,items:1}).on('changed.owl.carousel',function(event){var currentItem=event.item.index;var totalItems=event.item.count;if(currentItem===0){jQuery('.owl-prev').addClass('disabled')}else{jQuery('.owl-prev').removeClass('disabled')} if(currentItem===totalItems-1){jQuery('.owl-next').addClass('disabled')}else{jQuery('.owl-next').removeClass('disabled')}})}})})

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7r7HWrK6enZtjsLC5jrCmppmeYr%2BmstSsnKxlpp7AqsCMoaysmpGjsW6%2FyKyrnqpdqrunrcirZGpvaWqGdH4%3D

Martina Birk

Update: 2024-06-19